Bittersweet Life...

Sunday, December 31, 2006

so. it was hari raya haji today. wokidae. pretty alrite. coz it was at my uncle's place for a change. soo, i slacked with the cousins... haha. enjoyable bunch! we danced!, sang songs.. haha.. watched youtube..

and soon, say hello to 2007. so fast. really. im getting a lil bit terrified actually... with everything. school. life. future. the past. gosh.

those primary school days, though not very distinct, still becomes a valuable part of my life.

sec school days are the peak of my teenage life, i guess. those days were the times when me and my close mates were carefree, not caring abt the future. and just dreaming away wat lies ahead. it was so very simple then. when shit happened then, it was just a passing phase which we took as lesson learnt. all the laughters, the jokes, the pranks... goodness. im thinking back when fabian was my next door neighbour in class- as annoying as he is, he made lessons bearable. the rest of my classmates had their own character which my clique would sometimes made fun of. the squabbles among classmates are now jokes when we reminisced. we didnt even spare the teachers when it came to jokes and criticism. crushes on him, crushes on her... adored this teacher, despiced tt teacher... hated this subject, loved tt subject... thrashed the education system, loved the early releases for recesses(councillors)... i really grew during sec sch. i made myself stand out on my own then. i had high self esteem then. but all these are just memories, as there's no way for me to relish all that again, though i would very much love to.

next stop, poly. the most hideous switch yet. god knows how hard it was for me to cope when i first started out. the dumb modules. the ppl who i considered frens. well, shocks, sweet surprises, and hatred were all part of the 2 yrs of my poly life so far. this period was when i really learnt to pick myself up when i fell real hard. this was the time when i just had to keep everything to myself and pretend. facade was the all important agenda, everyday. i fell hard. and i fall again. this is the real shit. where it really hurts. lessons to be learnt, yes. but it's very bitter, yet, all u have to do is swallow and go thru the motions... though it's tough. i still find myself lost when im in school. as in, sometimes i feel there's no one for me. there's no one for me to turn to. no one tt i can rely on. no one to take time to listen to me. sometimes, i just need someone. but there's no one... however, im really grateful for my girlfrens, my irritating but wonderful classmates who bully my once in a while, for my cca ppl who are loads of fun and joy.

it's been a while since i let go my emotions. i feel much better.

2006... a year of unexpectance. a year of faith. a year that has passed by ever so fast.

ta~

Smashed into pieces at 12/31/2006 10:03:00 PM